So this all started when this dude in Tunisia had his fruit cart taken away by the police for selling fruit in a no fruit selling zone, and he was all like “hey man, give me my fruit cart back.” And the police were all like “fuck you, buddy!” So he went all “oh yeah? Well fuck you, guy!” and he all set himself on fire and shit.
So at that point Tunisia was all like “oh shit” and some other dude was all like “hey yeah they took my hot dog cart too!” So he set himself on fire and then some guy in Egypt went all “PANDA CHEESE FUCK YEAH!” and set himself on fire. Then back in Tunisia they were all “Yeah Panda Cheese guy knows what we’re talking about!” And then everyone took to the streets and the government was all like “hey now jesus Christ!” and they high tailed it the fuck out of there and then everyone in Tunisia had a Pizza party at the local Pizza Hut and there was also ice cream and cake and a good time to be had by all.
But then Egypt was all there looking in the window of the Pizza Hut and they were all like “hey that shit looks pretty goddamn good. IS THAT MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP ICE CREAM?” and then they went home and were all like “Mom can we have some Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream?” But their mom, President Hosini Mubarak was all like “Shut the fuck up you kids I am trying to watch American Idol, that does it go to bed! And no Panda Cheese for you either!” And the kids said a defiant “No way Mom! And by the way, we don’t like your friend Steve and when he sleeps over he comes into our rooms at night smelling of cheap bourbon and he touches us!” And President Mubarak was all “YOU KIDS SHUT UP HE DOES NOT I LOVE HIM I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING WITHOUT HIM GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” So the kids decided to get all Tunisia on everything and took to the streets and they threw a garbage can through the window of a Starbucks and then some tanks came in but Egyptians poured Panda Cheese in their gas tanks and some jets flew overhead but nobody cared because they were too busy breaking into museums and drawing mustaches on mummies and shouting “I’M A PERSON TOO MOM GODDAMNIT I’M A PERSON TOO! STFU AND GTFO!” But Mom, aka President Mubarak is like “You kids better not even think about putting that cup down on the coffee table without a coaster!” And the kids are all like “You’re not the boss of me!” and they have totally been putting coffee cups and wet glasses down all over the place without the use of coasters and that shit leaves rings.